Yeah, I said it.
Yeah, I meant it.
Sure, through Facebook I’ve reconnected with friends from my past — people I haven’t seen or talked to in a decade or more. However, I’m really not excited for my class reunion next year because, well, I know more about these people’s lives than I know about my own sometimes. I know the names of spouses I’ve never met and children I’ve never seen. Pretty much anyone I wonder about from high school is just a click away. With Facebook on my crackberry, I don't even need a computer.
I find myself toiling over friend requests — both requesting and accepting. "What if I send this and they feel obligated to accept me as a friend even though they don't want to because I'm odd and they don't have the heart to deny me a virtual friendship out of fear of offending me even though they've already established that I'm odd and I'm just annoying them with my status updates and uploaded photos?" Breathe. Okay, so I feel that way because, yes, those random requests have passed through my account. Of course, I've come to realize that it's not exactly the end of the world if I choose not to accept someone. Chances are they'll never even know. But what if that happens to ME?! I can't handle rejection — especially virtual. Forget those people who don't respond to my friend requests within 30 seconds of me sending them. It drives me mad. Not so much that I really had to wait an hour, or, heaven forbid a day, for someone to verify that we're friends — just the fact that this proves how Facebook is out to make me have a nervous breakdown for no apparent reason.
Facebook has ruined my social skills. I no longer have to call people to make plans. It's as easy as posting "I have nothing to do tonight. Who wants to grab a drink?" What happened to the days of actually having to figure out with whom you wished to socialize and inviting them? Poof. Gone. Don't even get me started on what Facebook has done to dating. Not only can you look at someone's profile page to establish their relationship status, but it actually posts a notification on the newsfeed when the status changes. It's like Facebook knows that I'm single BEFORE I do. I'm waiting for it to tell me I have a date on Saturday when I log on and provide me a direct link to his profile to read the blog with the menu for our dinner date.
One of the worse times is when I think of a status update and have no way of updating it. I save it. In my brain. Where really important thoughts should go. Instead, I have "Erin is wishing she could find her crackberry to update her status while she enjoys a potpie" taking up a place that should say "remember to check batteries in smoke alarm." If I die in a fire, you'll know why.
None of this even tackles the HOURS of my life that get sucked into Facebookland. Finding new groups to join, causes to support, people to chat with, GAH! It's ridiculous! Sometimes, I find myself looking at page or photo of people I've never seen/will never see and can't remember how I got there. It's like this one time in college one of my girlfriends got so stoned she forgot how she had gotten to the other side of the living room. No idea how I ended up stalking strangers — but I did.
Facebook is evil. It sucks my time, my life, and, at times, my sanity.
Wait for a moment while I update my status...
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