The Best Opening Line EVER

“Gregor Samsa awoke one morning to find himself a beetle.”

Imagine waking up one morning to find that you’ve transformed, unbeknownst to you, into a beetle. An ugly, hairy, nasty looking beetle. Worse than that, your own family tries to kill you. An apple gets lodged in his back that eventually begins to rot. So, not only did he wake up a creepy crawly, his very own family wants to squish him.

Pretty sure there's not enough therapy in the world for that.

I’d like to think if I woke up a bug one day, my mom would stear me towards the nearest garbage can or compost heap and tell me to eat my heart out. That's of course after she stopped screaming and peeing her pants when a 5'5 beetle showed up on her doorstep. She may be my mother, but that's enough to freak anyone out -- even the woman who has evicted spiders for me for nearly 30 years.

I don’t really fear waking up a bug, however, since I’m fairly convinced that Kafka made the whole thing up. Although, I keep an open mind about what the human body is capible of achieving.