Heeeeeere's Johnny...

I feel like that guy from The Shining.

You know, the guy who gets possessed by the evil hotel and tries to kill his family.

Yeah, that guy.

I'm not actually contemplating chasing my family around with a hatchet, but this snow is making the cabin fever almost unbearable. One minute it's mud and chirping birds the next it's frozen tundra and plow trucks. How can Mother Nature expect us all to keep our sanity?

I bet there's a rise in institutionalization this time of year (side note: that is one HELL of a fabulous word). Someone should do a study on that subject instead of the stupid ones I read about on yahoo or MSN. The ones that spend an obscene amount of money to tell us that Twinkies make us fat or texting and driving is dangerous. Waste money on something that informs me, not something that sucks all the joy out of my life.

It's amazing how people forget how to drive in snow within a matter of weeks. The road warriors suddenly are slipping and sliding and trying to run me over. Of course then there's me driving like a grandma in my grandma-esque vehicle. Maybe I should start slouching and wearing a curly grey wig when I drive. Then I can should obscenities out the window and other motorists will just think I'm crazy. Maybe they'll think I'm crazy anyway.

I sure feel crazy. All I want to do is go for walks after work, clean out the bird feeder, sit at my backyard table, dig in the dirt, and not freeze my ass off. It's like the last couple of weeks were just a teaser and we're never, EVER, going to see the sun, again.

Stupid snow.

Stupid winter.

Stupid insanity.

Don't call the authorities. I'm not literally feeling homicidal, however, I may scrawl "REDRUM" in crimson lipstick on the mirror in the office bathroom tomorrow just to see how coworkers react.